Andy's Recipe ColumnFrom Gargle Vol. II #1, Sept. 1971
Today I would like to give you a few helpful tips on the preparation of that uniquely
delightful vegetable, the eggplant. (retch-garch) Though I am not exactly an eggplant
connoisseur since I dislike it intensely I will still provide all you eager and crazy
gourmet types with some of my favorite eggplant recipes.
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FRIED EGGPLANT pan 2 small eggplants 4 tblspns lard 3 lbs. hamburger salt pepper |
Prepare the 2 eggplants by first peeling them and then removing the seeds. Soak in salt water for 3 hours, then slice thinly and place in hot lard. When it is black, a sign that it is cooked, remove from heat and throw away. Salt and pepper the meat, fry this, and eat. Serve with catsup. |
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EGGPLANT ON THE ROCKS 10 large eggplants frying pan 3 lbs. hamburger 300 ft. sheer cliff salt pepper |
Take 10 eggplants and place in tepid swamp water for about 12 hours 36 minutes. Transport to 300 ft. precipice and throw off. Wait for them to strike rocks. Return home, fry hamburger and serve with mustard. |
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EGGPLANT PASTORALE 25 small eggplants 1 cup vinegar 1 small geyser 3 lbs. hamburger frying pan salt pepper |
Place 25 fresh eggplants in freezer for 5 hours. Remove and thaw for 3 hours. Rub with vinegar. Place in crater of geyser and wait for eruption. Leave guck spread all over the place. Go home, fry hamburger, serve on buns. |
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EGGPLANT AU GRENADE 1 25 lb. eggplant frying pan 1 German potato masher 3 lbs. hamburger salt pepper peanut oil |
Hollow out 25 lb. eggplant with strong vacuum cleaner. Rub cavity with peanut oil. Place potato masher inside. Activate masher and leave on most hated enemy's front step. Ring bell and depart quickly. Add salt and pepper to hamburger, fry and eat. |
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EGGPLANT INCREDIBLE 1 347 lb. eggplant 1 strong table Pepto Bismol |
This dish is a guaranteed winner. Just take the 347 lb. eggplant and serve. Your guests will find this incredible enough. |