Gargle Editorial

At the beginning of this academic year, it was our hope that GARGLE would lessen its coverage, thus putting out fewer and less comprehensive issues each 2, 3, 4, 5, or however many weeks it takes us to get around to publishing this trash. I am proud to report that we have attained this goal by decreasing the average quantity by two pages (but only because we put more manure into each compact article.) There is, however, one important factor which we have managed to overlook in each issue of GARGLE. This factor is quality. Quality is one thing GARGLE has never considered. Some of you readers will lean back and scoff and say dirty no-no's about our paper, but that is because you are a commie pinko. Fortunately, we do not write for your type of person, we write for Dick, Spiro, and lest we forget, our beloved Shirley Temple Black. They are our kind of people. They believe in apple pie, red suspenders, and Viet Nam. Let me tell you a little about our editors. Peter "Andy" Wolff - mad bomber, known for his craving for dirty locker room songs. David "Mr. Junk Mail" Woolley - known for getting the subs to mail his mail for him by telling them he was on probation for selling marijuana and could not leave the building. Brian Hendricks - famous brother of Jim and Dave, although no one understands how. Scott "King Puthay" Wyatt - notorious school weirdo. As for myself, I shall let the guys get even with me next issue. REMEMBER: Journalism isn't worth a ca-ca in a bucket. It is a privilege to be able to print garbage and know John "The Funny Farm" Schousboe will laugh at it. We want to perform our tasks with idiocy. THE END (Curtain down) (Curtain reopened) (Spot on J. Schousboe picking his) CLAP, CLAP, CLAP